i dont want to

(as much as i want to remember i also want to forget because) i dont want to collect new memories because im only gonna seek past in the present and i dont want to converse with the echo of my voice and i dont want my pen to run out of ink but i also …

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payday (an excerpt)

“I have got to get out of here,” was my first impression of high school. I didn't know anyone in this school. “I need to go home where I could be myself,” I muttered as if I were Popeye while speed-walking to my first class. I was a quarter of an hour late. Who gets …

haunted

When I was a young boy, I constantly longed for a happy family: a complete one. Thoughts of unknown happiness occupied my head daily. I always wondered what it felt like to call someone my dad—especially when he was nothing more than a name. It was a nice day at the beginning of spring, and …

i

margarette, everything reminds me of you. the stereo in my car the windows rolled down the horizons lit up where your eyes would be the fairest. i remember familiarizing your kisses: your tongue dominates mine; your soft lips travel from mine to my cheeks down to my neck. i remember composing this: with every word …

stare

The world had been sad these past few days, and the meadow and the depressed sky merged into one great grey scheme to meet the calm eternal flow of the babbling brook that mirrored the erect lifelessly bare trees; the enfeebled light was struggling to break through the warlock-black clouds, and our conjoined shadows were …

re-joyce

The chronometer irradiated a chromatic red light that reflected seven-eleven on the jet-black side table Shit now I only have god knows how long to get ready He hurriedly hulk-smashed his pillow aside, freed himself by kicking his sheath-shackle to drift mid-air and then hastily whooshed it onto the bedstead. He unclothed his way to …

rutakingurmeds

Are taking you your meds? Mom asks. As if taking these little things isn’t dehumanizing enough. As if taking them is as easy as it seems. As if they are working for me. As if I will ever get better. As if I will ever stop envying people who envy me because apparently suffering is …